Guilty Before Proven Innocent

This summer, the WSJ published an article on how children in America are being taught to fear men. And another about how men are forced to cope with this social trend.

Fears about child sexual abuse have quietly evolved into a social poison. While child abuse is indeed a serious issue, is it worth alienating half the population over?

(This Virginia public service ad elicited controversy from men's rights groups, who pointed out the profiling inherent in the message which evokes a paranoia of men & fathers based solely on a "feeling.")

The WSJ articles sparked a chain of articulate reactions in the blogosphere. The main statistic points out that 89% of child sex abusers are men. And naturally, parents want to play the percentages to protect their kids. But as one writer responded, "Most predators are men, sure, but most men are not predators."

Online discussions ranged from men confessing how they actively avoid interacting with children for fear of suspicion. Men feeling helpless when approached by a lost child at a shopping mall, even refusing to help just to protect themselves. Male soccer coaches advised to never touch players, even injured ones. And it's not just single men under suspicion. Fathers who play with their own kids at the playground get dirty looks from nearby women. And god help you if you're a dad who needs to change his toddler's dirty diaper at the shopping mall - someone may actually call the cops.

Even worse, boys and girls are increasingly unable to develop healthy relationships with (and reactions to) males as a result of this conditioning. One blogger wrote, "The result is that some children come to view any unfamiliar man as a potential evildoer. These kinds of panic-stricken protections seem to do more harm than good; there's great potential to limit and damage kids' relationships with men (and vice versa) while doing little to actually protect against abuses."

A few writers pointed out that teaching children to fear men breeds an overconfidence in females. Especially in an era when female teachers are soliciting sexual relationships with male students, and statistics show that females are far more likely to murder their own children. But certainly, teaching children to fear females is equally perposterous. As another writer pointed out, "If we teach our children to fear everything, they won't develop the radar to know when something is actually wrong."

That's the biggest problem with the current attitude towards men. This isn't caution. This is a witch hunt. Men and boys are being taught that masculinity is not only unvalued in American society, it's vilified. The proof is in our education system: the high school graduation rates of boys have dropped dramatically, and fewer men than women are going to college. Only 9% of teachers are male, dropped from 18% in 1981.

There's fewer male role models, and boys are hurting. One blogger pointed out that because of the current environment, young males are forced to find social alternatives, groups where they can be accepted - such as gangs. And girls are hurting from having fewer opportunities to develop healthy relationships with men. And families are hurting as fathers are sent the message to never show affection, to be distant and unfamiliar.

A small response has already begun: male mentorship in the form of a book.

But is this a step in the right direction, or merely a thumb in the dam? There's got to be a better solution than this.